I’ve noticed a pattern in the working moms that I coach. They have a voice in their heads that tells them exactly what they have to do to be the “Perfect Mom.” At the same time, another voice tells them how to be the “Perfect Professional”.
These two voices are often at odds with each other, which makes many women feel stuck and even defeated. There’s no way to win.
But these two voices have something in common. They both stem from patriarchal ideas about what a woman’s life should look like.
The motherhood voice tells us that we need to:
- attend to everyone else’s needs and desires before our own;
- always be available;
- always be present, engaged, and energetic with our kids;
- make homemade organic everything from scratch;
- always keep our kids entertained with super-educational, creative activities, playdates, and experiences;
- be strong and take care of everything on our own;
- have a Pinterest-worthy home; and
- live an Instagram-worthy life.
The voice opining about career tells us that we need to:
- work harder;
- go above and beyond;
- always be available;
- say “yes” to everything;
- aspire to perfection;
- second-guess and triple-check our work before showing it to others;
- seek external validation before we can feel good about ourselves; and
- never fail.
Both voices tout perfection and convince us that we’re not doing enough. And both voices make life as a working mom unbearable.
This Is Not Working
I’m not going to discuss the number of women of women who are suffering with this. It’s 92% if you want a stat, but that’s not what matters.
What matters is: why are we still having this conversation?
The reason is that we’re buying into patriarchy and it’s ruining our lives.
The truth is that you can have an amazing career that you love AND be a loving, present mom to your kids. If you’re having thoughts that you can’t have both, recognize that that’s a line we’ve been fed, too.
It’s obvious that the problem is not going to go away or take care of itself. The current crisis has made that abundantly clear. The mental and emotional health of working moms is not good. This impacts our families as well.
It’s time to take back control of your mind—and your life.
This is exactly what I teach working moms to do in my 1-to-1 coaching program, Motherhood 2.0TM.
If you’re ready to get off the hamster wheel and start loving your life again, I can help.
The first step is to apply for a free call. We’ll talk about what you want for your career and your life. We’ll look at your current challenges and we’ll look at how you can finally get unstuck and shine as you are meant to shine. You can request your free call here.