Last week, I talked about self-care and the best way to practice lasting self-care in your life. But most of my clients really struggle with allowing their own health and wellbeing to be a top priority on a daily basis.
The clients who struggle with this the most are moms. Women are socialized to take care of others and be selfless but this programming really kicks into overdrive when we become moms. In addition to our societal programing, there is a very really mama bear instinct that kicks in when we give birth and we become solely focused on protecting our young.
Caring for our children is a wonderful thing but allowing yourself to become depleted and exhausted while trying to be everything to everybody is not.
When Was The Last Time You Did Something Just For You?
So many moms tell me that they don’t even remember what it was like to do something for themselves or to just do something they enjoy for the sake of doing it, that isn’t related to their children.
Here’s the problem with this approach: we can’t be the people we were born to be when we’re depleted. A mother has so much more love to give to her children when she’s feeling happy and healthy. Even if you can take care of your children’s basic needs when you’re running on fumes, it’s going to be really hard to genuinely enjoy that time with them and be the mom you really want to be.
Build Up Your Reserves
I’m not sure about you, but my reserve of patience and understanding taps out when I’m not rested, when I don’t exercise, or when I don’t make time to do things I enjoy. I show up as a much more loving and enthusiastic mother when my own reserve is full.
And I suspect that’s true for pretty much all humans. It’s hard to be the professional, partner, friend, or family member that you want to be when you feel like you’ve got nothing left.
So you accept that premise as true, it follows that taking care of others actually requires you to take care of yourself first. The proverbial oxygen mask that you must put on yourself first if you want to be able to help your kids with their oxygen masks.
Do It For Them
If you don’t currently believe that you’re worthy of this, or deserve this, then you can work on believing that over time.
But in the meantime, let go of trying to do it for yourself and start doing it for them. Do it for your kids, so that they can see a mother who is flourishing. Do it for your partner or parents or friends or clients. But above all, do it.
You were not born to live a depleted life. Let the world see you at your best because that’s how you can give the world the best that’s in you.
Have a beautiful week.
P.S. If this is something you struggle with, I can help you. Schedule a free one-hour call with me and I will help you with your specific situation.